Sarcasm (As described by the Jew):
- A bird originating from the Nestoridae parrot family.
- Extremely curious and intelligent in the fields of computer science, ornithology, cognitive psychology and writing.
- Enjoys playing a wide array of strategy, puzzle and adventure games on the computer.
- Wears a Hart Schaffner Marx Plaid Wool Suit for business meetings and flights around the world.
- Wears a Cherokee Kangaroo Pocket lab coat when programming.
- For breakfast, he enjoys Uncle Tony’s Microwavable Omellete du Fromage coupled with a hint of Chandrakant Patel’s Rose Petal Juice.
- Lunch is for losers.
- For dinner, he lights up his nest with Sous Les Feuilles scented candles from the Esteban Parfum Collection. He prepares his signature dish of sipancula worms served medium rare coupled with a tray of Imperial Beluga caviar and topped with a generous bush of shredded Urbani Burgundy Truffles. All of this is then digested along with the 1997 Bollinger Blanc de Noirs champagne.
- Before going to sleep…sigh… He doesn’t sleep.
The Jew (As described by Sarcasm):
- Either Russian, Italian, or Brooklyn.
- A fair-weather Jew with a tendency to overlook certain restrictive mandates.
- Fond of books, not sold on reading.
- Enjoys movies, mistakenly refers to them as films [sic].
- Single-handedly supports the entire New Jersey dairy industry
- Probably lactose intolerant.
- Considering starting a website for bathroom reviews.
- Learned the difference between a ‘while’ loop and a ‘do while’ loop in only two years.
- His house motto is ‘Sum Ingeniarius’, ‘I’m an engineer’.